Reflections for Mr. Right

"A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child."~
Knights of Pythagoras

This is an article born out of my reflection on an idea I received from a father's day message. It was a message of huge responsibility; one of who a father ought to be. The charge of responsibility of a man for a child he has seeded is not an idea overly difficult to conceive, although there are so many shared roles and duties with mothers nowadays. For me the huge paradigm shift was the message that 'a man must choose a wife only as someone he has accepted the responsibility to father' . A man is therefore not a husband by privilege but by responsibility!

The word husband has its etymology to the old English word, hūsbōnda, which refers to a "householder". The idea of a householder particularly for people who have witnessed a lot of men superiority will turn to associate that with dominance and suppression and things that may seemingly connote a forced power for forced identities. I intend to share an extension of the original idea of fathering for children to wives. This message I believe should be the background for which any man may measure his own manhood and success. A woman can likewise see unto choosing Mr. Right if 'Mr. Rightnow' has not already been chosen. But in all, this is a message of character progression and development, one that must be worked on daily.

• A Husband is a Progenitor. Progenitor is a noun which means, 'A person or thing from which a person, animal, or plant is descended or originates; an ancestor or parent.' or 'A person who originates an artistic, political, or intellectual movement'. There are a thousand and one leadership lessons to learn from a father. Leadership in real context is not much less or any greater than fatherhood. This spells out the fact of a leader in the husband. The responsibility is on Mr. Right to lead by origination. If there is not much vision to show the way, not much wisdom to steer the course, not much diligence to pursue the end, not much empathy to carry along, not much confidence to inspire, then Mr. Right needs a little bit more coaching and so he should be humble enough to seek it.

•  A Husband is a Protector. The idea of protection is one of defending unto goodness and prudence. A man must not only learn to protect himself but his wife. In this age where the battle is transcendent and vehemently fought in the silence corners of our ear lobes, a man can be sure to have a huge responsibility. Unfortunately we have esteemed protection with physicality which is most definitely right, yet more so are much dangerous things a man must learn to father his wife through. Let me as an inset say, these are spiritual protection, emotional protections, financial protection, philosophical protection and psychological protection. These are all the things that women sum up and may call security. In an age of self-seeking and selfishness this charge of protection not manipulating is a rare jewel.

• A Husband is Passionate. The charge of a husband is one who has enough passion to bear the responsibility of a progenitor and a protector for all his life as God grants him to live. Mr. Right must have the heart of tenderness to care and to love, to forgive and to garden all his life long. It is not extremely difficult to be passionate for a season but maintaining passion for virtually eternity takes a father, one who will always be exceedingly interested in and caring about, unto the end. The question should then be for a man, how long can I hold on and for a woman, would he still be interested if not for the sex? When this questions are asked in all honesty and sincerity for truth, one shall beget truth.

Let me grudgingly leave the lessons at three once I have communicated the paradigm of a father as one who first learns to father his wife. I can literally identify with the fumes some men are breathing at this point and the questions on some women's mind. Are you advocating for Mr. Perfection? Or perhaps advocating for me to marry somebody like my father? For some this is only Utopian and will take a life time if anyone dreams to have such a man.  For other it may not sound the idea and a complete distortion since they will not have their father's likeness for a husband. But whatever your conclusion maybe, understand I wrote this article to solicit and provoke thoughts on these exact questions and sentiment. Many of us if not all have lost the drive to seek what is true, pure, beautiful and original because the pace is excruciating. Men must decide to be the best they could as fathers and husbands and women likewise in responsibility must decide to choose the best men to father their hearts and children.

The charge of who a father must be in the home is the foundation to solving almost all the social problems there are and unless we can raise within our own selves and our societies men who lead the home, are passionate about their homes and protect their homes with all they have, our society may not see much of what true joy God offers through love in marriage. The future of humanity depends on the kind of husbands we have. So we can negotiate for convenience once again and settle for anything less than original but I have a commitment to be the best man God will have me to be, and I know there are many who will share the vision of raising today's sons as tomorrow's best fathers.

In summary, the meaning of both the words 'father' and 'husband' is a title defining of a function. A title God himself jealously holds on to and gladly associate and professes himself us. This is the honour bestowed men, but one that hugely comes with responsibility and God gracefully give the strength to live in His steps. His steps of a gracious father and a loving husband.

Let me end with two quotes:

"Fathers, like mothers, are not born. Men grow into fathers and fathering is a very important stage in their development."~ David Gottesman

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church," Eph. 5: 25-29